We have all made mistakes and done things that we aren't proud of and that we could take back but since that isn't really something we can do we just learn from those times and make ourselves better. I can honestly say that I have done and said many things I am not proud of and as much as I regret doing those things they have made me who I am today.
In September 2011 after a college football game I went to a party held at my friends house. Everyone was drinking and I followed in suit. That night there were a group of boys going around putting date rape drugs in girls drinks when they weren't looking. I only remember a couple hours of the party that night before the next thing I remember was waking up sore, feeling disgusted with myself for not knowing what happened. That night 4 young ladies and myself were taken advantage of. We were found in the basement of my friends house by him and one of his roommates who clothed us, carried us out to the car and drove me home to my place where they stayed awake all night just watching over us. I only know one of the other ladies that went through this same experience but through it we bonded and I wouldn't trade their friendship for anything.
4 out of the 5 of us ended up pregnant and think a big part of that was that some of those girls hung out all the time and their cycles were synced or something I'm not sure. I can gladly say every one of us chose life for our little ones! One girl chose to raise her daughter by herself with the help of her family, they are so happy and doing well to this day. One girl place her son for closed adoption, she has a family of her own now and the adoption has since become open. The other two of us decided placing our sons in open adoption is what was best for us and our little ones, the one girl actually moved in with the parents that were adopting her son during her pregnancy, she is now finishing up her degree with 1 semester left to go. As for me my open adoption was a little different. The adoption process was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. Trying to find the perfect family for not only your little one but one that will you trust with your child and can be a part of as well. I found two wonderful families that I knew either one would be a wonderful pick for my son. The day he was born I knew who he needed to be with. I can honestly say I've never cried more in my life than when I was pregnant knowing that I wouldn't get to experience all those wonderful first with my baby. But I can honestly tell you that I wouldn't have it any other way, as hard as it is. I knew I wouldn't be able to give my son everything I wanted him to have. He needed a mom and dad, someone that could spend lots of time with him instead of always working to provide a life for him. There were so many things I wanted him to be able to have that I knew the only way I could give him that was to place him for open adoption. I get regular updates and pictures of him. I get to see him. I know he is with a wonderful family. Not only did I bless their lives by placing a child with them that they couldn't have themselves but they blessed my life in selflessly loving my little guy. Each time they send me pictures or tell me things he does it brings tears to my eyes know that even though I'm not the one raising him that he has characteristics and traits passed down from me and that he will always have part of his birth-mom with him.
Open adoption has been such a blessing to me. I want everyone to know about it! I had the privilege of helping teach a class on it and I would do that again in a heartbeat even if that means driving all over the country to teach classes to high school students, college kids, families and friends. Adoption has changed so much of the course of time just like everything else that people need to have their eyes opened to it. Placing a baby for adoption is in no way giving up on your responsibilities as that child's parent or saying you don't love them, its actually doing the exact opposite! The adoption community has become my family, they support each other like any family member would and I'm grateful to have them in my life. I will gladly help anyone that wants to know more or learn more come to know everything there is about open adoption. I never realized how many wonderful couples are out there trying to have children of there own and can't, it breaks my heart knowing how many of those wonderful couples are out there struggling for the righteous desire to have a family and then seeing crackhead women or high school girls getting knocked up. I'm in no way saying that they can't be good parents I just wish we would look at every option available to use. I have many friends that raised children on there own when the baby daddy didn't want anything to do with them and they are happy and living good lives, like I said I just wish everyone would look at every option there is out there for them. Not everything is for everyone, we must pick and choose, just please choose wisely for the sake of not only you but that amazing little miracle baby God has so gracefully placed in your care to make the right decisions for them.
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